Tag: art/science

centiSperm Product Orientation Seminar


Now that the centiSperm exists, we begin concern ourselves with artSci research and development. What can be done with this novel new media biotechnological product? Are there scientific theories, artistic practice, bioethical debates and profitable applications to stem from this?


Artificial Human Gene Screwed centiSperm For Sale

My initial plan was to offer the centiSperm online as a posthuman artificial insemination product. I am sure there are people out there on the world wide media net web who would like a centiBaby. I haven’t had my sperm screened for safe resale and no one locally wanted to commit to a long-shot mutant interspecies jazz insect child.

centiSperm Glazed Donut Product Line

I began to anoint one of Celia Olsen’s homemade donuts with centiSperm. Actually I have glazed that donut once or twice a day for the past five days. This a perhaps a boutique edible for a dedicated foodie. Perhaps Tim Hortons might be interested in licensing centiSperm glazed donuts?

centisSperm Donut Glazing

centisSperm Donut Glazing

centiSperm Glazed Ceramic Sculpture

 I did build a ceramic sculpture to honor Uranus’ castrated penis. I will fire it tonight and glaze the penis with centiSperm as a physical ceramic glaze. This should adorn the sculpture with a burnt offering and test the applicability of centiSperm as a second level of anointed glaze.

Novel Birth Control: centiSpermicide

I am a bit worried that I am incubating more than insect-human hybrid germ cells. The centiSperm glazed donut could be a petri dish for naturally found airborne pathogens that feed on sperm. Although the statistical risk factor is low, anytime you feed human cells you should be aware of what or who might grow on the rich lawn of easy to scavenge tissue. On the other hand, we may be hunting for a volunteer novel spermicidal agent that could be use as a additional spermicide in our arsenal against unwanted pregnancy. centiSperm as a medium can be used to bait and check novel organisms. Any microbial or fungal life that can grow on a centiSperm Glazed Donut incubator will be potentially resistant to centipede venom. This means that we may be able to derive a new spermicidal secondary metabolite from the microorganisms that can be used in conjunction with various forms of centipede venom therapies without deleterious drug interactions.

Electroporation Protocol, the making of centiSperm


Electroporation, the making of centiSperm

Comic Rendition:  Matteo Farinella

Matteo Farinella of http://matteofarinella.com

A – Mix sperm and DNA in the electroporation vial (cuvette)

For each reaction mix 10 microliters of centipede DNA and 50 microliters of desalinated sperm directly inside the electroporation cuvette


B – Put cuvette inside of the electroporator

C – Set voltage

I did one reaction at 200 volts which seemed standard in the sperm electroporation. I also ran a second reaction at 1800 volts just to make it rough. Sometimes when you are running a rough DIY lab its better to go for overkill than treading to closely to the protocol. More is sometimes a matter of affect. But more actually often does the trick!

D – Press button twice to fire machine. Wait for beep (about 2 seconds)
E – apply refresh media

For this lab I used 10% vitaminwater® XXX açai-blueberry- pomegranate flavored (Glaceau) put through a 3 micron Gelman Filter







The refresh media was prepared before the electroporation reaction.




photo credit: David Bowen










     centiSperm as a new media is now available for experimentation.   





centiSperm DIY Protocol: Sperm Desalination


Goals: To electroporate whole genomic DNA from a centipede into the center of human sperm.




Matteo Farinella of http://matteofarinella.com

Matteo Farinella of http://matteofarinella.com


Sperm Desalination

Rinsing the sperm is meant to remove the salt from the sample. This is to reduce the electrocution risk to the sperm during electroporation. The electroporator gives high voltage millisecond pulses and if the sperm is in a salty seminal fluid medium, the electroporator will just zap the sperm to death. The process is much like being a human washing machine. The actual process is slow, boring and repetitive: spin, drain liquids, agitation rinse, spin, drain liquids, agitation rinse, spin, drain liquids, agitate into a sort of gel. Matteo was heard to say, “This is why I stopped being a scientist.”

A – Obtain Sample


B – Put sperm in tubes

I had very few tubes with me. I thought to use disposable pipettes but I got worried about sperm spray because the tubes would have no tops. I bought hypodermic needles at the Wallgreens to use as sterile tubes. I figured that the syringes could be spun and the heavier sperm would deposit the pellet onto the black rubber plunger and then I could push out the liquid (supernatant) and suck in new liquid to resuspend into (vibrating agitation rinse). I used electrical tape to secure the needle closed. I used the screw-on.twist-off luer lock for as the cap for the syringe tube. This made accidental sharps sperm injection much less likely! I also taped the plunger closed so it wouldn’t fly off the fan releasing sperm in a circular spew pattern. I left tape slack so I could still plunge without having to worry about coating the place with a thin film of half rinsed ejaculate.



C – Spin to make pellet (natant)

I was going to buy a hand-powered centrifuge but I thought better of it. I tried to make due with what I had brought and immediate materials. Although a DIY handheld grinder centrifuge was beta tested. The results were dangerous. David Bowen and I put the grinder in a vice and stepped out of the shop to plug it in. The attachment took air, collided with the vice and self destructed sending shrapnel in every direction. We were nearly maimed in the face by a projectile syringe.

Beta Test Grinder Centrifuge Epic Fail

Beta Test Grinder Centrifuge Epic Fail

The DIY box fan centrifuge was the answer. I drilled holes in the plastic fan blades and zip tied the syringes to the blades of the fan. It took a little time to cut them off between each cycle but we did see a thin white line of sperm solids around the plunger after each spin.



Spin for about 3 minutes

D – Throw away supernatant (liquid)

Plunge the seminal fluid supernatant into the bleach bath.

A word on DIY Biosafety: When working with human fluids, it is good to have art as a shield from the health department. Art is not usually considered to be stringently regulated, as are federally funded laboratories and biobased economy manufacturing processing plants. Using somewhat dangerous materials in performance art or DIY labs is generally ignored. Not that the health department doesn’t have jurisdiction. There are just some funny ideas about art. It is generally considered to be sort of like a party in the ambi-bathroom of a good afterhours club. Art is a sleazy urinal cake. So, the mythos of general consensus art freedom from oversight is sort of a mix between fourth amendment freedom of expression issues and that soldier of fortune motto ‘kill em all, let god sort em out’. This is the attitude towards the arts and artist’s in general society. This is to say that the impact of art is zero to nil in the public eye and the desperate narcissism of most artists doesn’t hinder this vision. Proclaiming yourself an artist is like wearing a classless green translucent plastic masochist visor on your head. Artists signify as frivolous, expendable and hence deregulated. It is sort of an unsaid authoritative death wish hex that translates to freedom from funding and freedom to self regulate. Nonetheless, I used a water purification pill good for 25 liters in a bin as a bleach bath for both used fluids and plastic disposable trash. No harm in sterilizing the shit out of stuff, neh?


Just suck distilled water into the syringe. Use the syringe plunger to fill the syringe with distilled water. Don’t forget to leur lock the sealed needle back on the syringe so there is minimal leakage.

F – Vortex

Resuspend sperm in distilled water by vortexing

A vortex is a great home toy to invest in. It is an industrial strength vibrating twiwrler. Its major use in a lab is for resuspending tacky solids stuck to the bottom of tubes after centrifugation. It can also be used a fun drink mixer. It does make that tell tale tornado in fluids pressed onto the nob of the vortex. The strength and RPM is well beyond the standard vibrator so there are other more potent uses for a home vortex related to: massage, deep tissues, and earthshaking stimulation possibilities. Well I left my home vortex at home. The DIY vortex for resuspension was simply to attach two syringe wrappers to a handheld sander and let the sander shake and vibrate the sperm solids back into solution with the saltless distilled water rinse. Sometimes I would press the hypodermics onto the sander surface to see the liquids really shaking and splashing and spinning and waving about. It worked! It was a little foamy, frothy for professional use, but the saucy was scenic.

G – Spin to make pellet (natant

Spin for about 5 minutes

H – Throw away supernatant (liquid)

Plunge the distilled water seminal rinse supernatant into the bleach bath

I – Replace distilled water with ice cold distilled water

J – Vortex
Just another jot on foam and happenstance.

Photo credit: David Bowen

Photo credit: David Bowen

The foam of castration, vortex and sperm, the birth of Aphrodite
Photo credit: David Bowen

There was some leakage of sperm from inside the hypodermics to outside on the surface. Good thing this lab was mostly stag. Gloves were offered and the dangers explained. But, during vortexing, the shaking and vibrating of the lost droplets of sperm appeared as foam. This again confirms that sperm, left out and agitated by waves, does make a foam! This foam is thick, meringue-like, white, bubbly, a shave cream consistency, a lather of leaky fluffed goo spread. Its an epic yuck factor emollient. It’s also proof of concept in the foam as castrato sperm meets ocean vortex theory of Aphrodite’s origin.

K – Spin to make pellet

L – Throw away supernatant

M – Replace ice cold distilled water with ice cold Glycerol

I bought glycerine at an uptown health and beauty herb pharmacopeia called Pharmaca in PaloAlto. It was the cheapest item in the storehouse of flower dew remedies and herbal tinctures. Glycerol is 10% glycerine. That is 9 parts distilled water and one part glycerine. A solution of glycerol is often used to keep just to keep mixtures suspended in a smooth, moisturizing solution. It is also a sort of preservative. For vegetarians, there is plant-based glycerol. Glycerol is used in lots of stuff we use every day. You can find it in shampoo, water based sex lubricants and in this case, a suspension of sperm. If well screened, young sperm suspension with a little fragrance, perhaps lavender, might make a very good face and cuticle cream for the boutique beauty product market.

SK-II Women's R.N.A.POWER Radical New Age Cream/2.7 oz. - Size No Size $230.00 Saks Fifth Avenue

SK-II Women’s R.N.A.POWER Radical New Age Cream/2.7 oz. – centiSperm humectance, one hundred handed face massage
Saks Fifth Avenue




I remember that the word testament and testicles have etymological origins in common. Early swearing on the Torah was not always possible before the printing press. Often it was told that men would take an oath on each other’s thighs or even under each other’s thighs. Due to the fact that the oath was a testimony, shy scholars had substituted balls or testicles with the words: ‘thigh’, stones or underthighs. The image is of men holding each other’s cojones cupped in each other’s hands during an oath, this is testimony. Giving each other testimony on the bollocks makes much more sense than a thigh in terms of relations between honesty and fear of pain. It also shows that the word is made of flesh as the germline genetic material (sperm and spermatagonia, ovum and oogonia) doubles as a holy book as well as a total trust fall for sure. It is certainly time to update the translation, re-enter these traditions into the halls of justice to include bodies of difference to lay oath hands on.

Considering Ruth and other female judges in the Judeo-Christian-Islamic Trinity of monotheistic cult(ures), we must ask how contestable (con-testicular) oaths are conducted in lieu of a book between: women and women, women and men as well as the detailed gender, identity, sex and sexualtity gradations and off the locus points of the day. The pen and the penis (and the pasta penne) need a gendered reinscribing, as well as protest (pro-testicular) neologisms beyond detestible (de-testicularity) testes, can be converted to gender neutral (neutered) or pluralized hybrid language of identity biodiversity. The tablets are not ‘stones’ these days. Penises are not the only thighs in the thicket. WE need a new embodiment of trust, lineage, language and law crossover that includes more than thinly veiled phallic worship. Lets get some yoni in that lingam langue, what Maya Spasova calls, “The Venus in every penis.” A good measure would be starting from the sum total of a dynamic equilibrium orificial economy and reverse engineering to a menu of options in the anatomy of testimonials.

All that being said, I killed Keith the centipede. I swear an oath on Gaia’s ovum… it was no fun. Keith was lit. May heesh live on in the brains and sinews of those heesh has touched.

Ἑκατόγχειρες, the Hundred-handers


Ἑκατόγχειρες, Hekatonkheires also called the Centimanes or the Hundred-handers
(Is Tartarus a castle analogy for Gaia’s womb?)

So this is strange happenstance, one hundred handed the centiHuman aesthetic has an old media contingent to go along with The Human Centipede torture porn movie aesthetic. It has to do with rejection of teratological children, repulsion and even gynophobia, in terms of mutation and xenophobia. Hesiod wrote about Kronos being angry, and teaming up with Gaia his mother to release some of his more mutated brothers from their imprisonment. Apparently the mother son team wanted to free a cylopic brother and the boychild titan of a hundred hands. The titanic kids were being kept under house-arrest by their father, Uranus. My theory is that Kronos’ little brothers were forced to stay inside due to their wild amorphous anatomy and the shame brought to father of monsterosity. Indeed, “ Soon after they were born, their father Uranus threw them into the depths of Tartarus because he saw them as hideous monsters. In some versions, Uranus saw how ugly the Hekatonkheires were at their birth and pushed them back into Gaia’s womb, upsetting Gaia greatly, causing her great pain and setting in motion the overthrow of Uranus by Cronus” – https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hekatonkheires

Is it possible that the amorphous and socially stigmatizing children were pushed into Gaia’s womb and plugged or somehow imprisoned there only to be freed by the actuated sympathetic magic of a father’s castration. This makes centiSperm a differently abled studies issue. Centipedes are Ἑκατόγχειρες, the patron titans of transgenic humans. It makes a new reading for feminist psychoanalytical studies due to the fact that castration anxiety can be seen as a subset of an accurate and deserving scything in direct response to womb blocking, child quashing, father denial of paternity, hysterical masculinity.

Contacting Corfu.